Archive for September, 2006

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Insane in the Brain

September 19, 2006

Down here we have this conceit that the truly crazy stuff only happens in the US but this article comes from our very own New Zealand Herald (establishment read if ever there was one). Parents should sit licence test, say expertsThe choicest part (sorry to give it away but my mind is spinning right now) is the bit where an expert says that child abuse costs the country $1.25 billion a year and then goes on to say that we could build 3 sports stadiums with that money! Now the building of stadiums happens to be topical down here right now but what is wrong with people that that is the first thing to occur to them – what about the cost to the children themselves. You know – there childhood being a misery is, ahhh, who cares, it can’t be measured with money…

Considering that the standard civilised method of ‘rearing’ babies is abusive, that the entire childhood experience is abusive the actual measurement of abuse will doubtless be how well a child is raised to serve civilisation. I mean some of those poor lower class people produce young adults who just can’t do anything useful.

Sorry for the rant, this one has got me annoyed, disgusted and bamboozled all at once.

TItdefinitely fits in the Modern LIfe is Rubbish section of the blog.

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moving

September 10, 2006

We’ve been in our new place for about a week now and it’ possible that the kids are starting to settle down. Our youngest, who was born in the house we moved out of keeps saying she’s scared a lot of the time which is kind of a surprise and both kids are prone to flying off the handle a lot at the moment. People kept telling us that shifting ranks up there with things like divorce on the stress-ometer so maybe we shouldn’t be surprised.Possibly the worst aspect of it was that I was literally working full time for a week to complete the shift and tidy up the old place. That includes two days to clean out all the junk under the deck and the house but basically despite our best efforts and living in a comparitively small house, we own too much stuff – and it’s got a lot worse since we had children. Westerners show their love by spending money and plying you with gifts and all I can conclude is that our children are well loved by lots of people!

For comparison’s sake I asked Ran, who only ever stays at a house sit for a few months at most, how much ‘stuff’ he has. Here’s what he said:

You could fit everything I own in the back of a pickup truck, except maybe the new solar oven, and some food I keep on the land. Luckily my mom has given me a big closet at her house where I can store it, so I only have to bring a couple bags between house sits. It’s mostly books, clothes, and tools.

I am green with envy.

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perfect little angels

September 7, 2006

I’ve been reading the Continuum Concept email list again and there are a few postings at the moment that reflect our own experience with child rearing – which is that no matter how hard we try to provide the best circumstances for our children it often appears to be making absolutely no difference.

And I’m not just talking here about parents moaning because their kids aren’t perfect but about children (especially around the age 4) who are nearly impossible to live with, and even worse, children who seem quite unhappy a lot of the time.

It leads to a lot of heartache for the parents – and despair about what to do next too.

One thing that occurs to me is that we might be falling into the trap of comparing our children with those raised with more ‘conventional’ child rearing practices which usually involve breaking the child’s will and creating a subdued version of the original personality. The result being that the children either don’t express their feelings to their fullest or that they don’t bother to express them at all, so strong is their subconscious belief that their parents don’t care.

It might be that the results for parents of 4 year olds who were not left to cry as babies and who have been allowed to express themselves is a child in the midst of expressing the full horrors of living in civilisation (which would be perfectly logical). The possible causes for our children’s unhappiness is endless, starting with toxins in the food and environment, passing right through to the unresolved trauma that we as parents express in our daily lives – and then even beyond that to the unresolved trauma that was passed on to our kids in the womb and for which there is just absolutely nothing we can do.

I think 4 year olds are still at the stage where most modes of expression are physical and this combined with what I assume is an increasing ability to sense that not all is well in their world combines to produce these often violent little people. I know it’s better for them to get this stuff out of their system but it’s nearly impossible to cope with on a full time basis – members of our extended family get worn out after just a couple of hours with our kids and that’s when they’re usually at their best.

So far there hasn’t been any really useful advice on the CC list (which is a bad sign because it’s usually such a good resource) and I can’t comment on the individual people because I haven’t even met them but I’m going to assume that the problems stem from a) our chemically toxic environment and b) our own unresolved trauma as parents. I suspect that most people aren’t aware of all the myriad of ways that this affects their own behaviour. I tend to think that I have a good awareness of this ‘myriad of ways’ because I am writing and reading about it a lot of the time, it’s possible that that’s just my denial system kicking in but either way the knowledge of the issues I am aware of is not enough for me to keep myself under control – especially in the pressure cooker situation of a nuclear family with two small children who both want to use that toy right now damn it!

When there’s no where else to turn all I can do is remind myself of the logic of the principle’s of child raising that I believe in and remember that I’m in the middle of a 15-20 year project. Most importantly though I need to remind myself to have patience.

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the place to be

September 6, 2006

I’m starting to notice what may be the beginnings of trend amongst crashbloggers which is to finger New Zealand as the place to be survive the crash of civilisation. First Samadhisoft.com had this to say as he boarded a plane for a trip to the South Island of New Zealand: “I believe New Zealand is likely to be one of the best places in the world in which to get out of harm’s way”And then I discover that Kevin from Cryptogon has just moved here to start an organic farm. Naturally my first thought was concern that we were going to be over run with people escaping the United State’s coming meltdown but then I realised that a) not many people are smart enough to work all this out AND act on it and b) those who are that smart are precisely the sort of people you want around during the end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it.

Then of course I thought of c) which is that our countries immigration laws naturally select for rich stupid people. From what I can tell Kevin is marrying a New Zealander which is how he can do it.

The only flaw in this theory might be that in order to survive climate change access to a continent (north America for instance?) that runs from the equator through to one of the poles might be the best bet for real long term survival.

So anyway – who else is thinking of coming down here? – we could do with a few more organic farmers around where I live
ADDITIONAL: I mentioned JHKs visit in the previous post, well, he also has a post about his visit on his blog in which he says he was NOT here to find a plce to hide in the coming storm. Otherwise his observations of NZ were pretty much on the mark