parenting tribes

February 5, 2006

I just discovered the blog Nankilicious. In this posting Nanki is talking about parenting and unconditional love.

Our village structure has disappeared, we lack role modelling, we lack community support, we lack the wisdom of our elders, we lack respect for children, for ourselves. We dont truly listen to our bodies or hearts anymore.

and this is why I am doing the “work” that I am doing now. This is why I am reading books on ethnopediatrics, communication, attachment, mindful parenting, respect, nurturing. This is why I am on the Continuum Concept email list, why I unschool, why I breastfeed my toddler, why we cosleep, why we dont punish, why I spend so much time building my “tribe” with likeminded families

I haven’t talked much about parenting yet but I think how we parent is intimately related to how civilised we are (or how well we have escaped civilisation).  The posting is great and I couldn’t have said it better myself.

In another posting she wrote about going on vacation with two other mothers and their children. All the mother’s were breastfeeding and it sounds like they created a great mutually supportive environment. She ends the posting with this comment:

And when I got home I was glad to see buzz [her husband] but when I woke up the next morning it felt weird to not have my friends there and the kids up and about and the sun shining and the floors sticky with twizzler sticks. I am having vacation withdrawals.

I wouldn’t call it vacation withdrawals so much as normality withdrawals. This is how we are supposed to live everyday, not just holidays – in a village or tribe setting. I seem to remember Jean Liedloff in The Continuum Concept describing how a ‘party atmosphere’ always seemed to prevail amongst the mothers in the (South American) tribe she was living with and observing and I’m guessing that if I want to make my life work out well I should be aiming to make it as much like that as possible. How’s that – a thesis for partying!

Isn’t it so typical of our society that it’s only on holiday that we get to live the way we need to. If we’re lucky we’re permitted three weeks of normality a year to maintain our sanity – and as often as not we waste it by staying in our nuclear family throughout the holiday.

(and isn’t it so cool that I finally discovered the indent button on blogspirit :-)


One comment

  1. […] see this previous posting about another mother’s experiences with grouping families together.  Not entirely […]

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